A Jaded Disposition

Today I registered for classes that I plan to take during the Spring 2009 semester, and apart from the usual headaches surrounding that process, I found myself experiencing a noticeable lack of optimism. When I first came to ASU more than three years ago I was bright-eyed and bushy-tailed, admittedly naive and in serious want of intellectual stimulation on a level far beyond that of the mental stagnation to which I had been subjected throughout the entirety of my upbringing in a socially-conservative Midwestern public school system. I dreamt of being surrounded by bright people, independent thinkers capable of discussing abstract topics without unnecessary and often self-imposed hindrances such as religion, personal biases and willful ignorance that I found so pervasive in my hometown. I assumed my fellow collegians would be people who could discuss topics that offend the sensitivities of the general public without resorting to violence, instead being able to set aside all of our differences for the passionate pursuit of knowledge and greater understanding.

Imagine the disappointment I had in myself when the reality of the situation which I had so callously overlooked finally set in: I was attending Arizona State University at Tempe, one of the largest college campuses in the country and a notorious ‘party school.’ Colleges don’t achieve those distinctions in a geographical region with such a comparatively light population if their admission standards are such that only people who fit the above description are offered acceptance.

I then adjusted my expectations accordingly after my freshman year and explained to myself that with such a large number of people in one place – a place devoted to furthering the promises of academia – there were bound to be a few students who shared my outlook. Finding them proved to be difficult, though I predicted that they may be more easily identified as I transitioned from lower-division to upper-division classes.  Unfortunately, that prediction has yet to come into fruition.  Instead of being surrounded by students who have no idea why they are furthering their education – as was often the case in the lower division classes I took – I am now surrounded by students who want nothing more than a bigger paycheck than what they would likely receive without a degree.  Admittedly, I too am pursuing a degree partially because of the economic advantages it will offer me, but it is far from my only reason.

Many of my classmates, if not most of them, lack the desire to be challenged with their school work, instead opting for the easiest route possible to graduation.  One of my biggest problems with this school is how much work the administration seems to put into enabling those attitudes and placating the morons that they allow to attend this institution.  Instead of being challenged, I’m being bored nearly to death with material that is not only uninteresting and uninspiring but far below the threshold of what I would consider to be the norm for a major university.

For instance, I am required to take two science courses, each with a lecture portion and a complementary laboratory portion.  I chose Geology and Biology, the two basics which nearly everyone seems to take, on the advice of my Academic Adviser. While sitting in the Geology lab one morning, I was tasked with coloring the different types of rock found within a topographic map of a portion of the Grand Canyon, which took the better part of an hour to complete.  As I was coloring the paper, an interesting thought crept into my mind.  I paused, looked at the TA and asked “How many hours during their college career do you think undergrads at Harvard spend coloring as a requirement for their classes?”  Without missing a beat, the TA replied “This isn’t Ivy League material, Kyle, this is busy work.  Now get back to your coloring.  Lunch is at 11 and nap time starts at noon.”  Gotta love those Canadians with their quick wit.

I could have taken a very difficult Geology course, one that required extensive knowledge of Geologic processes and it would have been quite challenging.  However, I chose to take an introductory level course because I didn’t know anything about Geology, and the challenge would not have existed because Geology is inherently difficult to understand – which is the challenge I am after – it would have been solely because I had yet to memorize all of the things I would have needed to know to do well in the course.  The concepts are quite simple, though the vernacular is somewhat cumbersome, and the high potential for damage to my GPA due to a course that has virtually nothing in common with my intended course of study made this an easy choice.

It hasn’t been all bad, though.  Aside from what I like to think are my more noble pursuits regarding higher education, I also wanted to drink a lot of booze and have sex with many different women.  In those respects, there is no finer university in the country – or possibly in the entire world – than ASU.  Perhaps my baser instincts played a subconscious role in my selection of a school and, typical of what occurs when that portion of the male mind exerts its influence, the end result has been bittersweet.

A Presidential ‘Shocker’

Oh what a difference context can make. Like the difference between the President of the United States making a ‘crude,’ sexual gesture:

…or the President of the United States posing with the Arizona State University track and field teams, which is what was really going on in the photo.

So why the ’shocker?’ ASU’s mascot is Sparky the Sun Devil, a creature that carries a three-pronged pitchfork which the gesture is intended to simulate. Of course, most people seem to be unaware of that usage, instead being either oblivious to any meaning or understanding it only as ‘The Shocker.’ It is the latter group that I suspect will begin calling for the President to apologize to their god and to their sensitivities for his crass behavior.

Politics Over Friendship? You Betcha!

Today a friend of mine made note of something that surprised her with its stupidity and, at first, I agreed with her.  But after some careless consideration, I’ve realized that it was actually completely reasonable.  She said (via Facebook) “r ppl really so hardheaded that they’re willing to lose friends over politics? really?”  The short answer, for me, is ‘yes…sort of.’

Prior to this election season I knew the political affiliations and inclinations of only a few of my friends, and it was rarely an issue.  As November 4th came near, some of my friends who had never before displayed to me the slightest interest in politics were wearing t-shirts supporting their chosen presidential candidate. Many of them began using their Facebook profiles as political soapboxes from which they would espouse the virtuous nature of their candidate while simultaneously condemning the opposition.  Though the latter was irritating due to the volume and frequency of updates all on the same topic, I was comforted to know that the news media’s characterization of my generation as politically apathetic wasn’t completely true.  More important, and more relevant to this post, is that although I may have disagreed with some of the positions my friends had taken, most of it was far too trivial for me to consider ending a friendship over.  Most of it…

There were a few people who really surprised me with their ignorance, both on Facebook and in the real world.  These were people who managed to destroy all respect I had for them by arguing that Barack Obama really is a Muslim, or that Sarah Palin is a brilliant person, or that John McCain was never a prisoner of war, or that Sarah Palin’s youngest child is actually her grandson.  The worst I heard was arguably also the most ridiculous, and that came from those few who were willing to admit that they would never, ever, under any circumstances, vote for a black candidate solely because of their race.

I can’t possibly maintain any sort of meaningful relationship with these people after these events have transpired.  Some of them are actually too stupid to comprehend the truth, like when it is explained to them that just because someone is named “Barack Hussein Obama,” he, like every other American, is free to choose and follow any religion he likes and is not, by default, a devout follower of Islam.  Others activate their self-preservation gene and utilize their skill in willful ignorance, like when they are given countless examples of Sarah Palin’s stupidity, or are shown photos of John McCain in a POW Camp, and they still refuse to accept the obvious truth of your argument.

While it may not have been directly because of politics that I’m willing to lose a friend, it was politics that saved me from wasting countless hours, if not years, investing in these morons.

The Curse of the Plumber, Part 2

Expect this on the news for the next day or two: Joe the Plumber is above the law.  On Wednesday, October 29th, Sam/Joe “The [Fake] Plumber” Wurzelbacher was pulled over by Toledo police for traveling at “…about 50 mph in a 35 mph zone in his Dodge Durango SUV,” but received a verbal warning instead of a citation.

Why no ticket?  According to the cop that wrote the report, they were “…concern[ed] it would reflect negatively on the Toledo department.”  Apparently, some jackass clerk that works in the police department looked up Wurzelbacher’s address in a state database the day before, presumably resulting in negative press for the department.

Anyway, you know what reflects negatively upon you, TPD?  When you not only condone, but promote your lack of professionalism.  Wurzelbacher, by your own admission, was caught, by you, breaking the law and he deserves a ticket.  It shouldn’t matter to anyone that John McCain gets his rocks off talking about this guy, so much so that McCain imagines Wurzelbacher being there even when he is not.

I guess this is kind of like what frequently happens in college football: the refs make a shitty call, and everyone knows it.  Then, to even things out, they make another shitty call during the next drive to penalize the other team, thereby simultaneously acknowledging and apologizing for their earlier mistake.  What the Toledo Police Department and NCAA referees apparently don’t remember, though, is that classic line from elementary school: “Two wrongs don’t make a right.”  Instead, everyone who didn’t benefit from the decisions that were made ends up pissed off, and those involved end up losing some credibility in the eyes of the angered.

The Curse of the Plumber, Part 1

I’m sorry to say folks, but it looks as though those of us who assumed this “Sam/Joe ‘The [Fake] Plumber’ Wurzelbacher” character was nothing more than a flash-in-the-pan utilized by the faltering campaign of a presidential hopeful, were wrong.  He has not only hired a publicist, but now he’s planning on writing a book.  Thankfully he is not, as rumors had previously suggested, working toward becoming a country music star.

I wonder how it is that he apparently can’t pay his taxes but can afford a publicist.  Maybe the firm took him on as a client in the spirit of charity and he isn’t paying them anything.  Or maybe he’s paying them in free plumbing work, which they will inevitably have to get re-done because he’s not licensed and his work would never pass inspection.

Perhaps the greatest irony here is that the only people who would be willing to read a book written by this guy are those who are unable to read.  Looks like they’ll have to wait for the miniseries to air on Lifetime which, if the media obsession with this faux-celebrity continues, might just become the big hit this holiday season.  That would be funny if it weren’t a realistic possibility…